Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
I never meant for my computer to become a lifeline.
I thought I was special (famous last words), one of the few, much less one of the few writers, that could shut down my computer at work and happily ignore my laptop when my “real life” began. I really didn’t miss it – computers, even the Internet, signified work to me. Not only was I not tempted to browse even fun stuff (who doesn’t like Buzzfeed quizzes?), the thought aroused a vague feeling of dissatisfaction, like that time I had lobster ravioli with lemon-thyme cream sauce and against all odds, it just didn’t work.
Anyway, I was dead wrong. I may have been a minute exception to those that can’t tear themselves away from screens even once they are no longer professionally required, but I am not exempt from the classic “you don’t really want it until someone takes it away,” always popular among five-year-olds in a sandbox.
As you can see, I haven’t posted in the past few weeks (just when I was finally getting into a good rhythm, drat!). My beloved Sammy the Samsung – you read right, let’s move on – recently bit it on a rare night when I was actually using him, even rarer that it was for so long that the battery ran out. Despite a marathon charging session and more than a few panicked forum solution-attempts, he just would not turn on.
With luck, he will be back in the roster shortly after a comparatively inexpensive fix (that is, compared to a new motherboard). The Geek Squad doctors thought that would be the case.
That was a week ago, when I thought it’d be no big deal to go without.
It turns out, all of those creative types that say their best ideas come to them in the middle of the night/while walking/gardening or during other mentally-restful work were lying. Your best ideas – and the enthusiasm to complete them – are limitless as soon as your greatest tool is taken out of commission.
I have a lengthy list on my iPhone of all the things I’d like to do for this blog. I have notes on the book proposal I’ve been marinating. I have networking opportunities, Photoshopping to complete, and newsletters I just prefer to read on a desktop.
It has been hard, to say the least, to not have Sammy the Samsung dutifully waiting in my desk drawer for me to not call on him during my evenings.
I’ll never be smug about screentime again. Unless it’s during dinner. Some things are sacred, like E. E. Cummings – even when it’s typed on your boyfriend’s computer, hurriedly and with a junkie-like relief, before everyone arrives for the party.
(More exciting things to come when Sammy has recovered.)